And God has been doing just that in my life. He has been challenging me with my own perspectives on missionary work and how that relates to my relationship and perspective on the true meaning of God's holiness.
Missionaries don’t magically become more like Christ when they move to a more exotic geographical location. God has been hammering into my head lately how grieved He is when I reduce “holiness” to what I do for Him instead of what He gave His Son’s blood for me to become. How sad He must be about all of the times I’ve relied on popular “methods” of ministry, trusted in my own strength, sought man’s approval as I’ve done His work and missed out on the unfathomable things He was longing to do if I had relied on His supernatural power. He’s showing me lately the depth of what He bled to obtain. He must increase, and all of my self-absorption, my worries about me and my problems, my “personality”, must decrease, for His glory.
I’ve been praying so much for revival in my own life, and revival in all of us. I am longing for God to do huge things, beyond what we would even think imaginable. I want Him to raise up mighty warriors for His kingdom. He wants to take me beyond my tendency to make life all about me, to weep over the things that cause Him to weep, to fight for the things He would fight for.
And before all of this can happen there has to be repentance- seeing my sin of selfishness, my indifference to the needs of the world, my lack of faith and dependence on God, my pride, the way He sees it. May God give us this gift of repentance and godly sorrow. May His fire of revival fall on us that we would truly know Him in the power of His resurrection and in the fellowship of His sufferings. What kinds of unfathomable things is He longing to do through us as He increases and we decrease?"
So that's what she shared and that's almost exactly what I have been thinking about. It's challenging to back up and try to reevaluate our perspectives on our faith. Sometimes we think it's right or sometimes we think that it's going smoothly when in fact perhaps we need to take another look at ourselves to see just where we are.
Who knows. Maybe you are where God wants you right now. But then again, I have examined myself often enough to know that I'm not always in His will as close as I could be.